What I can't have
by bee4u
Summary: Secret crushes, a broken heart and baby on the way...
1. Chapter 1

What I can't have

I look at them, him, honey golden locks, beautiful green eyes, lean and tall and of course that toe-curling Texan drawl, he is what I want and what I can't have..

Her, petite, dark brown eyes and one of the sweetest girls I've ever met.. And that makes me feel ashamed, 'cause I'm jealous, I want to be in her spot..

They're more than happy, she's glowing and his eyes are shining bright.. A baby on the way.. Again something I want and again what I can't have.

He is my best friend, my support and strength in my not so simple life, but he is also my secret crush, the love of my life..

He meets my eyes and a greeting, "Hey sis! It's a GIRL!"

That says it all, his feelings for me, and I want to shout out "I'm NOT YOUR SISTER! I LOVE YOU!"

But I never do, 'cause even though I want him to acknowledge me as a woman, and see me as someone to love and share his life with, I love him too much to ever hurt him, or loose him.

My smile is wider than ever, I know he's been longing for a child for so long, but I don't think it reaches my eyes 'cause he cocks his head to the left, his hair falling down his eyes, and he furrows his brows and speaks…

" B, you ok? You look sick.."

Tears gently rolling down my cheek when I answer " Nah, I'm just so happy for you! Congratulations, Jasper, finally a little one!"

He brushes my tears away with his thumb, looks me straight in the eyes, I see the question, but ignore it and continue smiling..

Slowly he takes me into his strong arms, hugs me tightly while he softly rocks me, and then he whispers: " I'm sorry, B… I whish you could have a li'l one too, maybe one day you'll be able to adopt.. You know I love you and I'll always be here for you, never forget that!" and kisses my ear before crushing me into another hug.

My shoulders shake from withheld sobs, and even though I know the truth behind the words, I also know that he is the only one I'll ever love and his child was the only one I ever wanted, but never can have.

After a few minutes I've calmed down enough, and there she stands, with her beautiful face and round tummy, with her arms open wide and tears glistening in her eyes: " I'm sorry B, I didn't think… I forgot.." she says, pulling me into her arms.

That reminds me of why I'll never say a word, why my crush will remain a secret, they love each other so much, and they're a perfect match, empathic, caring and loving.

Clearing my throat and shaking my head I say " I'm fine, really, I am… And I really look forward to the little princess, I'm more than happy for you!" Then I take them both into my arms, squeezes them hard and whisper " I love you two, and the baby too!"

And this time my smile reaches my eyes, 'cause I do, even though it's what I can't have..


	2. Chapter 2

Hello people of fanfiction and beyond!

I do apologize, but this is NOT a chapter. It is, in fact, a petition.

Word has it that there is a group of people on fanfiction and they are reporting stories with lemons or age inappropriate conduct (for the M rating, anyway). This is not acceptable.

What makes it worse is that the authors are not given any indication that their story is to be removed from the site. This is wrong and unjust.

Many authors like me on this website do write lemons. For them to have us wonderful stories deleted without notice is extremely unfair. Especially since most of these stories have great plots. Just because a story has a lemon in it does not mean it should be deleted! If a reader is offended by one, they should send a message to the author, not fanfiction.

An author should have more control over what they write and they should not write in fear that their story will be deleted. If it's just deleted all their hard work goes down the drain! I think there are multiple solutions to this problem!

1. Fanfiction should change the way they delete stories. They should at least send an email to the author with an exact excerpt from the reader saying why they reported it and when they will be deleting the story. This way, authors can save their work, adjust it, and repost again. If you just delete the fanfiction without warning then all the persons work goes down the drain

2. Get an MA rating! I think that this is the best solution. This way, a writer's creative ability is not interrupted with regulations and rules that they have to follow. If fan fiction is truly a place where an author can express themselves, they should add this rating. Fanfiction isn't "unleashing the imagination" by taking us off for putting lemons in our story. 50 shades of grey was a twilight fanfiction that had tons of lemons in it and it was turned famous and the writer is making millions off it. So why limit our writings?

Fanfiction administrators, if you happen to be reading this, please consider these ideas.

Please, copy paste this message (or write one of your own like I did) and put this as a temporary chapter in your stories. Spread the word around! If you are not a writer, but have an account, post this on your profile! If you are not a writer and don't have an account, send an email! Anything to stop this mutiny would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

With much love,

JaziD

And bee4u, who totally copied this from JaziD, thanx ;D

**Petition MA rating/ notifacation to know before your story is deleted!**

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bee4u


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